coronaryay asked: Also, being an asshole is nothing to be proud of. "I treat people badly! I'm great!" Fuck you
Also, shit like this doesn’t make you seem reasonable and open to discussion.
It makes you look like an angry child.
coronaryay asked: So, asshole, what EXACTLY do you object to about my post? Any of the actual points I made? Or is it just the suggestions that HIV+ people deserve love and sex?
Right. First I’m gonna address the fact there are poz people that intentionally seek to infect people. I’m gonna say right out here at the start that they are a miniscule minority and not who this post will be discussing.
Now that that’s out of the way, I’m also gonna say I’m all for HIV+ peoples, I’ve had a few family members be part of them. I’ve also lost family members due to it eventually becoming AIDS.
You have several valid points and I could even see myself supporting you if it wasn’t for shit like this, “you think i’m trying to sucker those innocent neg folks into fucking those voracious, sex-crazed poz folks.” and this, “like i’m some kind of fucking procurer for the evil poz people who don’t want to be virtuously chaste, as is their right and fitting punishment?”
That right there? That’s blind hatred and flat out bigotry. You are, in effect, telling people what they need to do and not do with their bodies, and their love-lives. You are instantly lumping anyone who would rather not risk getting HIV into one gigantic strawman. Yes, I know that most people who transmit don’t know they’re infected and that is something that is a problem, but at the same time you can’t damn those who choose to avoid the obvious danger. Yes, the risk is minimal, but it is still a risk! If a mother doesn’t want to have sex with poz men, does that make her a horrible person? For not wanting to take the blatant, still existing, risk and potentially not seeing her grandkids?
There are serious problems with the perception of HIV and it’s carriers. But these are problems that need to be addressed with education, and not things like this, “jesus fucking christ, just come out and accuse me of rape already.”
- : "All cis people are transphobic, passively if not actively so, bcos they have been raised by a cissexist society &--" :
- Cis people: nO??
- Cis people: I've dated trans people before??
- Cis people: I have one whole trans friend??
- Cis people: & a trans second cousin three times removed??
- Cis people: I have no problem with trans????
- Cis people: & I have never murdered a trans person so??
- Cis people: There is no conceivable way that I, a good cis person, could possibly be transphobic??
- Cis people: Have I mentioned that a trans person I know agrees with me??
- Cis people: Am I a decent human being yet
- Cis people: Let me just hide behind my trans shield
- Cis people: I mean my token trans friend
- Cis people: I mean my trans friend
- Cis people: LALALALALALA
- Cis people: NOT TRANSPHOBIC
- Cis people: NOPE
- Cis people: NOT LISTENING
Anonymous asked: how is insisting that individuals have a duty to be sexually available to the HIV positive population not rape culture?
oh for fuck’s sake.
this is how deep the stigma against HIV runs. you assume that anyone speaking on behalf of HIV+ people, saying that they are worthy of relationships (and most of those include sex!), saying that for an openly-poz person managing their infection the risk of transmission is ZERO OR NEAR-ZERO… their only possible motivation is predatory.
you think i’m trying to sucker those innocent neg folks into fucking those voracious, sex-crazed poz folks. that i am trying to make negative folks “available;” available? like i’m some kind of fucking procurer for the evil poz people who don’t want to be virtuously chaste, as is their right and fitting punishment?
jesus fucking christ, just come out and accuse me of rape already.
look: this ask makes me incredibly angry. i’ve laid out the reasons why a NEG4NEG attitude is bad and does harm, but i will reiterate them (and what i mean by NEG4NEG attitude is the kind of WOW HOW STUPID DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO SUGGEST THAT I COULD HAVE SEX WITH A POZ PERSON AND NOT DIIEEEE OMG comments that are all over tumblr).
it contributes to HIV stigma. one of the hardest things for a newly-infected person to deal with is the prospect of never entering into a romantic relationship again.
it is not a rational assessment of risk. the research is clear that the risk of transmission for an HIV+ person managing their infection with HAART is near-zero or zero.
it does not protect you. the most infectious individuals are people who do not yet know they are infected and therefore couldn’t disclose if they wanted to— estimates range as high as 1 in 4 infected men being part of this category.
it discourages HIV testing. because we, as a culture, talk about HIV like it means the death of sex, people in high-risk groups avoid testing because it’s better to not know (thus contributing to the above problem)
it makes disclosure harder and more dangerous. when HIV+ people are afraid of being greeted by violence (at least one woman was murdered after disclosing), or simply angry rejection, HIV+ people might fail to disclose. i don’t give a shit if you want to pass judgment; this is the real-world, it happens, i would like to take steps to ensure that it doesn’t.
posting NEG4NEG on your grindr profile hurts HIV+ people, it hurts people in high-risk communities, and it does nothing to protect your sexual health. it is worse than useless— it actually exacerbates the spread of HIV.
i’m asking you, and the rest of tumblr, just to think a little bit about why so many of you are so vehement in telling the world you would NEVER EVER NEVER sleep with an HIV+ person. that’s it. think about how an HIV+ person might feel reading through that 60,000 note post. HIV is just a disease. it is something that people can live with. it is not the worst thing that can happen to you.
when you talk about HIV like you all do, the message you send to HIV+ people is “you are worthless, your life is terrible, you might as well already be dead.”
so i’m just asking you to think. maybe read some articles. know your risks. and if you’re still too uncomfortable to consider sleeping with an HIV+ person, at least struggle to be poz-friendly and understand that this constant rejection of HIV+ people hurts them and have a little bit of grace. understand that, for most of you, the possibility of sleeping with an HIV+ person is strictly hypothetical.
and have some fucking compassion b y e